I think not the reject , I think you need these bells to write another melody , bells stand out much )
You’ve got some good things going on, but it’s also suffering from some problems. I’ll try and give my best thoughts on what’s wrong here, hopefully something I say is useful. Please forgive me if anything comes across as too harsh, these are just my honest personal thoughts on the piece.
The overall composition has some good aspects but a lot of flaws. I think your main theme (compositionally) is fine; from a melodic/rhythmic perspective it reads very ‘corporate’. However you’ve interspersed it with far too much ‘dead space’. One of the most glaring examples of this comes about 19 seconds in and lasts until the 51 second mark. Thats’s 30 seconds of time where nothing really sonically engaging or interesting is happening. And it happens so early on as well, which makes it even more noticeable. The first thirty seconds of your track need to be the most engaging, you really don’t have room for these kind of meandering, sonically monotone kind of spots, especially not in the first 30 seconds of a corporate motivational track.
Then at 1:24 you go into a breakdown/bridge kind of part, which is fairly common in these kind of tracks, but again yours lasts another 30 seconds, a period in which - once again - nothing of particular interest is happening. This part needs to either be shorter or have more going on. Although part of the problem here is the sounds, but I’ll get into that in a minute.
I’m assuming that the main track is ending around 2:30, and that the part after that is a separate version? If it isn’t, it definitely should be.
Okay, WildLion touched on it a little bit, but I think the problem is larger than just the bells.
The bells/marimba thing that you use for your main theme is a bit too aggressive and outstanding here. It really sticks out and doesn’t blend in well. You need something softer and more fitting as a ‘main theme sound’.
The kind of slide guitar sound thing that happens first around 35 seconds in is just a bit weird to me. It’s another sound that is sonically grabbing, and I’m not sure if it’s the right choice here. Usually having too many sounds that are unique/unknown can be very distracting to the listener.
I think overall you need to work on making all of your sounds bigger. They all just kind of sound and feel ‘small’ at the moment. It’s especially noticeable on the drums and claps during the breakdown at 1:23. These sounds need to be so much bigger.
Overall your song has some good elements, but those elements are being held back by both some compositional missteps and some poor sound choice/design. If you really focus on improving the sounds and fixing the ‘dead space’ areas, I think you could have something good going on.
Good luck on future tracks!
Thanks for your help. I will try to figure it out.