What is wrong with this track? 17 days after, again hard rejected

Hi dear authors,

this is my last track rejected, can you help me to understand?

Thanks in advance! :blush:

https://soundcloud.com/florbo73/landscapes-preview

Hi

Drums sounding bit weak to me and little bit expermiental for audiojungle?

but its great composition imo ^^

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Thank you so much @MeteDjr, very kind!

I used soft drums because I tried to make a track between pop and ambient, I don’t know… thank you so much for your reply! :slight_smile:

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Hi Floberaudio!

It’s quite a nice track with a nice sound overall I think, maybe 80% there.

Here’s what I thought of that I would change:

• The third chord. To me it sounds like you want to avoid a cliché chord progression. Often times, and especially when it comes to stock music, cliché chord progressions work. To me, it sounds like you’re trying to put the third chord there to be “different”. Maybe it’s just the bass that sticks out, but I would change something.

• The piano. I would like a bit more variation. In the beginning, the simple two-note phrasing is nice, but a little change as the track goes on could be nice.

• The delayed synth is, in my opinion, too loud in the mix. It sticks out too much.

• I don’t really like the rhythm in the bass. Too many notes.

• I would change the second section.

• The ending is a bit lazy. It sounds like you ran out of energy.

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yes third chord! when i was saying experimental thats what i mean ^^ yo’re welcome

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Thank you @Flumen for the advices, very helpful!

The third chord is an Am7, maybe the 7th chords are not much appreciated… For the piano, yes, maybe I have to try some variations and for the bass? Only one note for chord? The ending I agree, sounds a bit lazy… Thank you for the answer! :slight_smile:

No, it’s not because it’s a 7th chord - it’s because going down from Bb to A in the bass sounds a bit uninspiring in this case. :grinning:

I would use something like Dm, Bb, C, G, or Dm, Db, F, C maybe. More pop. :grinning:

There could be some overhanging notes creating a slight dissonance.

Dm7, Bbmaj7, Am7, G works on the piano, for a lounge jazz feel or something like that, but in this track I would probably go for more of an easier, poppy, sound.

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Yes, the chord is an Am7, but it sounds like a C/A because the pads play from bottom to top G, C, E… too jazzy? Anyway, I understood your suggestion! :slight_smile:

This is the last version of this track, again hard rejected! I choosed the progression Dm, Bb, C, G (simple triads) and I followed your suggestions… in your opinion, what is the problem? Many thanks! :smiley:

I would say that for me, the only problem is the melody, The rest is probably a bit static. But the melody is too simple and not memorable, also the energy of the song, there are almost no dynamics throughout the piece.

I really enjoyed the sounds and wooshes though!

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Thank you @Jtc_Music for the reply, very kind!
Yes, the melody is simple, but I don’t know if this is the reason of rejection, I wanted to create a simple easy track with a relaxing mood, but maybe the sound don’t fit with the magical standard requirements of AudioJungle… Anyway, thanks for your time, many cheers! :slight_smile:

Well, I think it’s much better than the first version, but still not all the way there.

I agree with Jtc_Music that the melody is a bit bland… Simple is not bad, but this melody, especially the second part (from 1:30) sounds more like an exercise.

I also don’t care much for the bass. I don’t really like the rhythm and it sticks out like a sore thumb for me. I’ve heard this in most of the tracks you have posted. I would really try to work on the bass to make it sound more modern. This can mean playing something VERY simple, depends on the track of course. Listen to 20 popular tracks with the same vibe and analyze the bass.

Now on to the guitar - this one I like, the notes fit better. Also the little synth runs.

The little 16ths in the drumbeat are not my favorite, and the drums in general could be improved. Same as with the bass, analyze 20 tracks with the same feel/mood/style.

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Hi @Flumen, many thanks for the advices!

When you talk about the bass, if I understood, you mean that the line must be more simple, then do I have to play only one note of bass for bar for example? I’ll follow your suggestion about listening to 20 popular tracks with similar mood… some suggestion about the tracks?

I don’t know if trying to improve the track or leave it, I remember you told that the track was nice maybe at 80%…

Thank you so much for your time, many cheers! :smiley:

Hello, i could not listen to the first version as it is deleted, but right now listening to the more recent one.
Well, first remark, everything seems to be drenched in reverb. This can be cool, and “ambient”, but I am not sure you were aiming the “ambient/zen/yoga” style.

Small remark, at 0:31, the tiny pluck notes sound out of tune to me because they are anticipating the next chord.

The main problem for me would be bass + drums, the bass is really distracting and kills the mood that could be good otherwise. I think there is a kind of consensus here, so you know what to do next :slight_smile:

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Ahah, great @frozenjazz, very nice reply! Yes, I’m not a yoga follower, anyway much respect for all discipline! I think to understand that the main problems are bass and drums, I must find other solutions for sure… many thanks for the funny comment! :smiley:

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My remark was half serious, I mean, why not dump the drums, redo the bass, and maybe really aim for a true ambient style? Apart from bass and drums, the rest is really nice and has some real potential!

I should check the rest of your portfolio :slight_smile:

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Thank you, very kind your observations, only about “ambient/zen/yoga” you made me smile! :slight_smile: yes, if I can improve the track changing bass and drums, this possibility is for me much interesting, especially if you say that the track has a real potential, I appreciate so much this point of view and I thank you again! :slight_smile:
PS I’m a failed jazz pianist, you can see in my profile, on youtube! :smiley:

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