I think you’ve done good job. Music is really good, nice melodies and harmony but guys right, is all about mixing. To tight, bright and to much reverb.
First impression is most important and what we can hear here is a little dirty pizzicato string sound with bog almost mono reverb. If you’ll make it more soft, not to loud and closer to listener, then will be better.
the piano and other instruments r good but need to move it to the beginning, to show beauty of them a lil bit early.
All string to compressed and to bright. All library has this artefact around 3 - 4 khz, so try to reduce them and will see how you strings became smoother.
That aaaaa pad is also to open or loud, it should give only feelings that something is behind. Then it works.
And the last is try to add some orc percussions, toms or booms, to make it more deep.
Good luck!)