Overall the track lacks fullness and sounds very dry. The mix is the problem here - the track itself is good, and with some TLC, it should be a solid item.
The main problem for me is the guitar - the tone is not right. There’s a huge concentration of frequencies in the 4Khz range that need to come down. Aside from backing off the distortion a bit (I understand you’re going metal, but it’s still a bit strong, imo), I would go and EQ out that 4Khz area, as well as boosting some of the 700-1000Hz range to beef up the sound.
Putting aside the vocals, the track has a distinct lack of mid-range in the 500-100Hz area. After cleaning up the guitar tone, I’d lower the vocals (great-sounding, but a little loud), bring up the bass, and try to better fill the rest of that area with the guitars. You may also want to double-track the power chords for some wideness.
The drums are a bit dry and mono-sounding, and lack a sense of space. They could also use some more 8KHz+ sparkle. Try dialing in some reverb or more of the room / overhead mics if you have them available in the library. This should help fill the mid gap in the track as well.
There are also some very minor timing issues between the guitar and drums at points.
Other than that, it definitely has potential. It’s just the mix letting the track down at the moment. Keep working on it!