It lacks dynamics in the movements. You need to develop a feeling for movements, this is hard to teach as there is no hard rule but in your case a more extreme speed graph would have been better for all of these transitions and keyframes shown here.
The music does not really drive the video either.
That is the most outstanding mistake for me here. However, slideshows like this are very overflooded already in the market and even when the dynamics are executed better the reviewer will have to reject it because it doesn’t bring anything new to the table.
I agree with @Creattive. There are tons of these kind of projects on Videohive. If your work has not an outstanding look and execution it will be really difficult you get it approved. When some kind of works are already oversaturated, I suggest you to move to another category, have a lot to choose (oversaturated too, but with possibility to try and bring something new and awesome to the table), for example logo reveals, broadcast packs, packs for social networks, halloween is coming if you like, greetings, corporate presentations or corporate logo reveals, etc, etc. You can fly with your imagination anyway you want. However, the whole marketplace is already saturated of all kind of works and projects.
yes, i have to learn more about motion, etc…anyway thank you for your support always.
i ll try to improve