Hi! there some problems:
- Guitar sound is very agrressive
- Track is very repetitive
- Kick drum is very low and has cheap sound
- Arrangement is booring
Try to create more dymamical arrangement, add some additional melodies. Also I think it better to play more standart drums (for example bass drum playing 1/4, ect). And mix track with softer sound, not so agressive like that. Good luck! 