You need to use more modern sounds(drums, synth).
You need to work more in the mix(equalization, effects processing, etc), and listen to more tracks of top authors in these categories.
Good luck to you!
2-3 reasons for this.
1- the synth melody with lots of reverb, is too loud, and quite repetitive and static
2- some sounds could be mixed better (starting by lowering the synth) I mean could use some delay and so on
3- the ending is quite sudden and one would consider it that the composer is not professional.
Other wise is very nice, I see the big picture here, with few adjustmenets could be a lovely track
Thank you very much, i understand, i will be trying to make better
thanks for helpful information