hi for me this sort of looks good but I think that there are different things which turn out to be a problem indeed.
1- global style and commercial potential
indeed, this is pretty cool but this keeps a rather simple style and as a matter of fact this is rather easy for anyone with decent skills or knowledge to reproduce the concerned logo without making any particular effort or having incredible skills, or taking a whole lot of time. And, as I use to mention, if u do not face any of the conditions, then the interest that people may feel in buying decreases gamely as they will not save significant time out of buying nor will they offer really “upgraded” design skills. I may also add that the illustration part can be read as “CD” and that maybe restricting against the potential “buying base” that u ,may have with such a logo … as people would need to have the same initials so that it works for them, if so …
at this point the way u positioned text and illustration part is not properly done in my view, they look somewhat disconnected and the positioning is thus not optimized to make the logo look as a whole
3- “raw appearance”
I personally have nothing against black and white but let’s face it, at this stage , this makes your work look rather unfinished or looking too “raw”, in other words lacking this extra finition that would provide the logo extra value in the end …
this looks clean do not get me wrong but indeed here expectations are high and quite frankly , reviewers would certainly expect more variations, more font combinations and possibly some touch of originality , what is rather missing at the moment …
5- “lack of concept”
indeed, to be more accurate , concept is not super clear
the goos news is that I feel like u have a cool base to work with all the same
this look better as it looks more original and having a bit more of a concept so to speak. Though u still have a sort fo disconnection between the used font and the illustration style. If u wanna use serif like fonts in the name and tagline, then make it echo in the illustration part … the imbrication is not done properly, the both part look disconnected “geographically”, just push up a bit the name and tagline and everything will be better … pls consider adding variations , font combinations and possibly a touch of originality within the name and tagline ado that u generate more relief and take your item to the next level
What is font variations? Two different fonts for name and tagline or different in weight?
variations or decorations > boldness, italic, etc
I personally prefer the first one, though if u generate a bit more relief with the typo , there is still a bit of disconnection between the illustration and text parts as u did not connect the “serif” side of the name with the non-serif looking like style of the illustration , when the font working best is more likely to be the one from the first screenshot … the thing is not a big deal to fix if u ask me … just create some “serif effect” to the h or the shield and this is it …