I need help to make this commercial

After much consideration it has been decided that this item does not meet the general commercial quality standard?
I must do something wrong and I need your help to figure out what?
Is it the melody? ( the call and response in second part? )
The overall mood?
The sidechain transitions?
The sounds?
Something else?

Bass/ Low end is little overpowered to me. everything else seems fine to me. May be try arranging the track little differently.

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Sounds like the bass is playing in interval, which is not a good idea in such low freq.

Thank you both for listening and giving me good feedback. Maybe there was to much going on. When I started to cut in the low and got rid of a bass and a kick I also deleted the hi hat and the snare. Here’s the new track.

I agree with @SonicSounds … I would also change the melodic line… I think it’s too loud… and also would add some brightness to the harmonic part.
Just my opinion…
Good luck! :smiley:


The mix sounds much better now. Good work.

Thank you and thanks for the help