Too long entry into the music (1:09). The music itself lasts 1:52. This is a big mistake.
The moment from 1:08 is set to 0:20. AJ does not welcome a long introduction.
Voice from 0:25 mix with the moment at 1:30. So your mix will be as full as possible.
At 1:52 you have to make a pit of music along with guitars from 0:02 and 0:45.
After that, repeat the mix again with the recorded voice from 1:08.
By the way, vocals need to be processed carefully(autotune? strong compression? ).
Nice track overall.
Here is an example: