Hard rejection for electronic track (EDM,trance).Need your feedback,please!

Hello ,friends! I need your opinion. Is it so terrible ??? What is my problems???

The white noisy, percussive sound between 0:02 and 0:13 is too loud and quite distracting. The background noise throughout the rest of the track is also too loud.
The track also needs a lot more accompaniment to outline the chords, maybe a more interesting pad or some saw synths.
Also try to vary the melody more it gets rather repetitive and annoying.
You might want to add some more reverb to the pluck synth and vary the instruments that play the melody.

Not enough sub energy in the kick and in the mix for that kind of music. It doesn’t sound enough powerful. The kick sound narrow and tiny. Try using saturation on your kick to make it fatter and add more low end to it to begin with. Add more sub frequency to the mix and control it with saturation and multiband compression if need.

Thank you very much ,my friend! I apologize for the long response. I really appreciate your opinion !!!

Thank you very much, friend! I apologize for the long response. Your opinion is very valuable !!!