I think it’s a good track, and it’s a bit hard to explain exactly what should be changed, but overall it sounds a little too much like a demo and not polished enough.
There is too much open hi-hat and too many identical cymbal/crash hits for my taste, which also leads to an overall noisy sound.
I would like the sound to be fuller and “rounder”, with more variation in the drums, especially the cymbals/hi-hats, and overall toned down cymbals.