Maybe it’s mistake? Why work like that so hard rejected…
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I’m not a video specialist, but I think you have to slow down a little the animation 
Hi. It doesn´t look bad to me. It looks the same from one screen to the next, maybe you should make small changes between screens to solve this (transitions, different details on background or particles). That kind of glitch effect on text looks a little weird to me, and if it is a glitch effect make it more complex and with more details, that can make a difference. You can add animated flares to text to make it stylish for example.
Good luck! 
Try different music, the music probably killed to whole effort…, try to also change the font type as well, look for cenematic font type, use 2 diff type of fonts and change the font size and tracking(space out always looked better), The end Logo too huge, make it smaller by 40%.
Because now 2018 and your animation is too basic for this time. I mean text style and text in and out animation.
It looks heavly influenced by video copilot
60% of works here (or more) are heavily influenced by video copilot. Many times a new videocopilot tutorial appears and next days you can see tons of similar projects on videohive 
Wich is not bad…videocopilot is a really good influence with lots of tips, the most important thing is not to copy exactly the same
So much repetitive and the market has a lot of similar projects
But do not be frustrated