- The intro lacks a bit of homogeneity, in my opinion. The first pad sound sounds a bit flat (sounds like a too tonal pad sound to me; could need more evolving organic sound), the small percussion sound a bit “out of the mix” and do not appear again. The deep percussion hits sound quite machine gunish and a bit dull, to my taste. The rising synth effect then also seems to high pitched to my taste (maybe also just too loudly mixed).
- The rising effect implies some stuttering effect, but it’s the only voice doing this. This makes it sound a bit off, in my opinion (taste?). Maybe it’s also just because the pad does not seem to get more intensitiy, while the rising effect does.
- The drop after this (the first stuttering riser effect) maybe could have much more impact, I am not sure.
- Overall the sound seems a tiny bit flat to my ears. Maybe there is too much going on in different voices? Maybe it’s too much reverb on some voices?
- On the other site it somehow also sounds like too less voices, hehe. Don’t get me wrong, I am just guessing. The choir staccati are supported by other voices like e-guitars, percussion and brass, while (too loud, in my opinion) this rising effect thing comes in again. I am missing more distinguishable voices somehow. Also I cannot clearly hear strings. So it all sounds bit muddy there, in a way.
- Maybe one important thing could be the overall structure: the whole piece is just 1:09 min long and has some different parts, which might be too much. Maybe there could be less of these parts, but each longer, or maybe the whole piece could be longer. Like it is now it somehow feels “rushed” to me.
Summing it up: maybe the piece is just too short for this amount of “parts” in it, maybe too much reverberation / to muddy mix.
As always: these are just some wild guesses (and probably also a matter of taste). Good luck, though!
thank you!! best advice! thank you for your time )))))))