Feedback on Pop-Rock piece

As my 1st piece of music was Hard Rejected l thought it might be good to get some thoughts on this Pop-Rock piece before l throw it to the lions :laughing: Thanks in advance for any comments!

Hi,

What I’ve noticed is:

-The intro is a little bit abrupt and it lasts 6 incomplete bars so your main riff starts on the 4th and half beat of the 6th bar, I don’t think it’s a good idea :grinning:

-Vocal sample sounds weird and out of tune and it’s not suitable for this track.

-Bells aren’t for this music as well, I think piano or something like that would work better.

-The mix is muddy and overcompressed, synth layers/pads merge into a rumble.

-SFXs, rises are too loud.

-Low end also rumbles and the bass line is too static.

-You ended this track with arp fade out, in my opinion, it’s not a good idea, because it’s not good for video editing.

P.S. All what I’ve written above is just my personal opinion. I hope it doesn’t sound harsh for you. Best of luck!

Hi ASG, thanks so much for your time and feedback.

I am so glad l did this (put it up on the forum first) as l am in bit of difficult position because l do video production for a living (owner operator) but l really got into this video production based my 25yrs of drumming and of course loving music which l into technical 80’s drummers but then also into producers like Mutt Lange.

So l sometimes fight between doing things that are mainstream and then things that are not.

So the timing issue of the intro might need more explaining, but volume/intensity l agree cos l had it cranked on my monitors and didn’t really notice it, but at lower volume just on desktop speakers l started thinking yeap to much of impact… So thanks for that.

Like wise with the vocal sample…I sort of liked it being a bit edgy but l questioned the pitch thing…(not my strong point) so that is gone!

Re the bells l will try changing them for piano, not sure if they will cut through but this then comes back to the general mix…I have izotope ozone 7 on the master but l think l have everything battling against each other for both volume and frequency space. So thanks again for the clear view on this.

Can l ask what you use for referencing speakers?

Sure, I use Yamaha MX5 Studio, Tannoy Reveal and headphones Beyerdynamic DT 770 PRO. It’s might be not a perfect configuration, but I’m used to it.

Regarding to the intro, I mean the main riff should start on the first beat, after 4 or 8 full bars.

Sorry ASG regarding the intro…l knew what you meant eg: the typical 4 or 8 bar resolve, so with the intro l started that 8 bar synth melody on its 2nd bar so that the listener thinks the intro is going to resolve after the typical 4 bars but doesn’t because the melody still has 2 bars resolve and hence you get 6 bars. None the less your point is taking and quiet possible that the reviewers may think this is to progressive.