Criticism invited for this "song"
^^^ Streaming (press Play) is trouble free but please do NOT download, or you will likely get a popup ^^^

This is a song l started about 21 years ago, it was never a complete song, just a snippet. The instrument originally used was a weird sound salvaged from a hi-hat sample (?!), but l recently re-made it with a piano.

Things l am aware of:

  • It’s repetitive - but l want it to just be a short piece of around 30 seconds
  • There’s a slight discord with one or two notes (you’ll recognise them instantly) but l keep telling myself this is good, this is leftfield, but is it really good or just sometihng we do that needs to be pointed out and laughed at for us to finally see?

Things l especially want to know (but you can say other stuff too ofc):

  • Is this potentially fit for AJ?
  • What would you change to make it fit for AJ?
  • Piano sound is shoddy isn’t it? There’s a part with many notes all at once and it sounds even less than 8-bit for a moment
  • Got any recommendations for a piano that sounds like this? I’ve tried orchestra grand piano samples and they sound horrible for this tune. I need that kind of “pointy” sound to the piano. I guess l could just create it myself by ADSRing the waveform, but it’d be nice if a natural piano multisample instrument could match this sound right off the bat

By the way, here’s the original (sort of) version of the song, showing the sound it was originally made with:

(remember: don’t press “download”, only press play button, streaming is trouble free, but download will likely give a popup)

[SORRY: l don’t mean to bump this thread, it’s not really very serious an attempt at music l just wanted to make it more accessible via a proper Soundcloud link] I’ve pulled out all stops now and decided to show my Soundcloud link because Picosong isn’t really well known is it. So please, give me criticism, nice n negative criticism, dark criticism, pour your misery down on me, it’s the only way l’ll improve:

I do not understand the rationale behind this since you state that “it’s not really very serious an attempt at music” but you have posted this within a forum on a marketplace that sells music / audio worldwide to a buying public. This is not a place for tutorials or a “how to” website. Youtube has many videos for that kind of thing.

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Oooh-yeah, lovely! Instant classic!! :wink:

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I don´t think your idea is a potential fit for AJ, it sounds way to busy and crazy for that. If I could imagine some potential fit it would be as a small frantic loop in a platform retro game where it could be fleshed out with more variations and better instrumentation and arrangement.

They only advice I have for you is to dive into Youtube tutorials as mentioned above. One channel I love and use myself for inspiration and learning is this one: “You suck at producing”

This guy mixes unique humour with deep knowledge and is really a great fun teacher. No one says learning to write music needs to be boring :slight_smile:

Wish you good luck!

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Hi there thank you, l think the problem is that l am showing what is basically just a midi sequence (the piano nwas added by Windows Media Player!), whereas this forum is for help and advice on stuff that is actually commercial-ready.

I suppose it takes someone to point things out before we realise we are being silly, l guess l was asking people to show me how to do it all from scratch, and even if they did, they’d just be making a carbon copy of their own talent! Point taken.

Thanks buddy hehe! Good that somebody recognises the best song in alpha quadrant of our galaxy :wink:

Thank you, l’m glad for your criticism and actual help, which l have bookmarked. I do not file and forget my bookmarks, so don’t worry, l’m onto it. If l submit anything again, it will be more than just a midi sequence with WIndows piano.

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I don’t think I’m qualified to comment on whether or not it’s suitable for AJ, but something did jump out at me about the piece itself.

The basic gist of the track is the ostinato figure on the piano with the other thing going on underneath it.

The trouble was, at least from what I’ve learnt about composing, is that just about all tonal music has some sort of harmonic goal e.g. I-IV-V-I, or the arrangement of those chords in a twelve-bar blues progression.

However, your track doen’t go anywhere harmonically; it starts with one harmony and stays there until the end. It’s just “I” all by itself.

However short a piece may be - with the exception of a jingle or logo - it needs to have some feeling of going somewhere, otherwise the ear will very quickly tire of it.

If that were my piece, and I wanted to keep that figure on the piano, I’d think about coming up with a short sequence of chords and working the piano part into them.

That might end up changing some of the notes in the piano figure to accommodate the altered harmonies but that might not be a bad thing.

That’s just my two cents’ worth.

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Hi there, the piece has evolved a bit over the recent 4 weeks. I really appreciate your input, l think it was the closest answer to my question because l agree it is at an impasse, l need to add backstory to it, and then some form of closure - like the sequence you showed in your post.

It irks me that a piece of music must always tell a tale (except with idents / logos, which l hope to get into), it feels like l have to fake my emotions by fudging a storyline - but then, every bit of music in the world does the same … except maybe idents / logos hehe.

Interesting videos btw @MojoSoundtrackMusic , l’ve recently viewed the one about making instruments more expressive. I was thinking of handcrafting multisamples to achieve this, but l see Ableton offers a succinct pathway to it (via Wavetable synth, shaping the waveform in response to the note velocity). Sad that l sold my Ableton now boo hoo.

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The key thing to remember about composing stock music for AJ is this: “Keep it Simple”. I’m a new author and I have applied this approach to my own music and had my first 2 tracks approved. I’m not sure what your composition has evolved into currently but if there are any elements that will detract from its commercial viability, it will receive a “hard rejection” from AJ reviewers. Good luck.

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